Acting Made Stupid Simple, Crawford Boxes, Dallas actors, Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, Dallas Texas, dry shampoo, Galleria skating rink, Greyhound, HISD, Houston actors, Houston Astros, Ikea, Ikea instruction manuals, Khaos, Lyle Lovett, Magellan Sportswear, METRORail, Minute Maid, Minute Maid Park, Monster Energy, Oz, Tara Lipinski, The Galleria, The Hobby Center, The Ice at the Galleria, The Wizard of Oz, Tony Romo, Traveling Texas Talent
A friend of mine introduced me to “dry shampoo” today. It seems like a perfect product for the traveling actor who often drives 3-4 hours to get to an audition or makes the trip by bus. Showing up to audition for a commercial with “Bus Head” is not a good way to make a positive impression. Washing my hair in a sink is usually an option, but makes me look like a homeless guy when I do it in the bathroom next to the lounge in a hotel I am not staying in. You’re imagining it now, aren’t you?
I get to audition for a wide variety of products and services, some I use and many I don’t. So the dry shampoo made me think, if I was going to cast myself as a commercial spokesperson, who are the clients I would pick based on what I really use regularly? Then, once I get the gig, what is the first commercial I envision doing?
I’ve used Greyhound to travel to auditions a lot lately and had no problems. No lie.
In the imagined commercial for Greyhound, I am boarding the bus in downtown Houston. I find an open seat and promptly fall asleep. I wake up in Dallas and it’s a lot like Oz, the film version and not the TV series. I’m greeted by Tony Romo and all the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. A musical number on Lamar Street begins as homeless people from the bus station emerge and join the dancing cheerleaders.
Magellan Sportswear Backpack
This item is my BFF on the road. I even keep the good luck charm my daughter gave me inside it.
I see a spot where I’m on the run from Old West outlaws on horses. They’re dressed like bandits; I’m in my typical blue button-down shirt and khakis and riding a bicycle. Each time they get closer to catching me, I open the backpack and pull out items to slow then down, starting with a Rubix Cube and ending with a box containing an Ikea bookshelf. I’ll throw the instruction manual at them separately.
The juice is my preference; I’ll buy 2 cans of Khaos on a road trip.
The fictional spot starts with me dropping off my daughter at school at 7:45 am, then opening a can of Monster. At that point, I’m seen traveling all over Houston, first pushing a METRORail train, skating circles around Tara Lipinski at The Galleria, showing Lyle Lovett some new tricks on a guitar at The Hobby Center, and finally at Minute Maid Park throwing a pitch to … myself and hitting it so hard it looks like a certain home run … until I grab the ball in mid-air as is about to land in the Crawford Boxes.
Okay, who’s first?